Shooting Star
by Betta329
Summary: A crack!fic in which Blaine Anderson is the Shooting Star, but in true Blaine fashion he needs a big song and dance number as he terrorizes the school. This is dedicated to a twitter conversation with my dear friend Tanni and is overall a huge joke/spoof. Enjoy the crazy!


Something's Got to Give

All right Anderson enough is enough. Everything you've been through this year is just too much to handle. For years you have been there for everyone else. For years you have sat idly by as you sang songs desperately trying to get approval from a bunch of selfish wannabes.

Hell everyone else in this school has cheated on their partner but somehow you're the one in the wrong. Well, you were wrong and should be ashamed, but dammit be forgiving.

Joining the Cheerios after Sue's reign of tyranny and trying to force someone to cross dress is clearly enough. And I... I can't take this anymore.

As I stepped from my spot in front of the mirror a whispered voice sounding almost like my own filled the room along with the sound of my beating heart, echoing across the tile.

Let the bodies hit the floor...  
Let the bodies hit the floor...  
Let the bodies hit the

"Floor!" I screamed as I rushed over to the locker. I don't even remember ever hearing this song before but the words poured from me as I jerked my locker open. It certainly wasn't a roxy, disco, or Katy Perry number I was familiar with. Sometimes I felt like my life was a musical, times like these, and I tore Sue's gun from my bag.

"Beaten why for. Can't take much more," man if truer words didn't run... um truer, I lamented as I spun around the locker room gun in my hand.

Wouldn't the Chicago number been more appropriate?

I made my way onto the football field and started pulling the trigger, watching student after student hit the floor. The song still pouring from my lips like I was some wind up dancing monkey not in control of my own faculties. With wide eyes I continued the song.

"One nothing wrong with me. Two nothing wrong with me. Three nothing wrong with me," were those guys bleeding through their jerseys? No way...

I made my way into the school, how come I don't have to reload this gun? Cheerios stood in the hallway and I shot them. Wait what? I shot them?

"Something's got to give," I repeated over and over. As Tina walked around the corner, everything moved in slow motion. I tried to warn her as I waved my hand, a strew of bodies lying in the hallway of McKinley High School as I chased Tina running in slow motion and I shot her in the back. She flailed before hitting the ground, her face splatting into the floor as she slid down the hall.

And suddenly I wasn't in the hallway anymore. I was in a classroom that song still carrying on.

"Push me again, this is the end," I said as Mr. Schue tried to grab me. I shot him in the stomach and watched him crumple to his knees, my eyes trying to express my unspoken apology.

I made my way through the classroom, bullets flying as I took a dance break and jumped on the desk and did a spin move.

"Nothing's wrong with me. Nothing's wrong with me." I mean yeah I've been through a lot as I walked the hallways again but that didn't mean all these people had to die. Well I had thought it but maybe this would be a dream sequence.

"Hey Blaine!" Sam said as he came around the corner. "I had this idea for a song for regionals but I wanted your advice," he said as he guided me to the choir room.

My eyes pleaded no as the words of the song continued, though it was like Sam was talking and there weren't words coming out of his mouth. People were smiling at me a little, laughing and carrying on with each other. And the words of that horrid song kept echoing in my mind. Down to the guitar rifs.

My hand came up holding the gun shakily as I shot Kitty, Unique, Ryder. One by one the New Directions became Old... Uh... Stiffies?

The chorus came around as they fell to the floor in slow motion, sprawling across. And chairs flying. Though poor Artie just collapsed half out of his chair, his disability preventing him a tragic death scene as I screamed the words, my face contorted in a mix of constipated strain and agony. Sam stared dumb struck.

"Skin to skin, blood and bone. You're all by yourself but not alone," I willed him to run, but he just stood there as the verse continued. Realization washed over his features as he backed away and ran into Puck walking in.

"What's going on Anderson? I thought you'd be in New York trying to get Kurt back. You are getting him back, aren't you? Remember we talked about this. You gotta get back together with him for reasons."

But I couldn't respond. All I could do was sing that awful song. As Puck looked down and saw the gun pointing at his chest he glared at me. "What would Kurt say about this?"

Oh God. What would he say about this? I... But my body wasn't my own, only my mind was painfully aware of me thinking a sarcastic comment and then this becoming very much real life. If I was directing this I would ask my motivation, but maybe that's obvious? I was sad I cheated on my boyfriend so I shot up the school. Well then.

I'm sure Kurt would be disgusted. I know I am.

The only person who would be happy with this scene would be Coop. I've apparently gotten the point to show seriousness down.

But as Puck stared at me, Sam trying to pull him away, the song still pouring from my lips as I gave him sad pleading eyes hoping he knew this wasn't me, not the real me, just this vague ridiculous shadow of me, I shot him. And Sam as he looked horror stricken. He tried to catch Puck but he was too late as they fell together.

As I came to the chorus I appeared in the auditorium. Well that's good I like to appear center stage. The still warm corpses formed a dancing group behind me. I don't know where or how they learned the choreography but I'm glad they did. Pantomiming falling every time I said let the bodies hit the floor, the former New Directions danced as I screamed the lyrics.

As the last note was hit I fell to my knees as everyone else face planted and blood pooled around me.

I'm a shooting star.


End file.
